Forgive First
6-Day Devotional
Matthew 6:9–15 (NLT)
Big Idea: Pray your Father’s agenda, not yours.
Weekly Application: Forgive First.
This week, we are going to walk slowly through the prayer Jesus taught His disciples. Before Jesus teaches us to bring God our requests, He teaches us to surrender to the Father’s agenda. And right in the middle of that agenda is something many of us would rather avoid: forgiveness.
Forgiveness does not mean what happened was acceptable. It does not mean trust is automatically restored, reconciliation is always possible, or healthy boundaries should be removed. Forgiveness means releasing our right to personally collect the debt and placing the matter into the hands of God.
Day 1 — Start With the Father
Scripture
Matthew 6:9 (NLT)
“Pray like this: Our Father in heaven, may your name be kept holy.”
Devotional Thought
Jesus begins prayer with two words that change everything:
Our Father.
Before you talk about what happened to you, Jesus reminds you who is with you.
Before you mention the person who hurt you, remember that you have a Father who sees you.
Before you rehearse the offense, remember that you belong to Someone who knows the entire story.
Sometimes our pain becomes so large that it becomes the first thing we bring into every situation. We wake up thinking about it. We carry it into relationships. We bring it into our prayers.
But Jesus teaches us to begin somewhere else.
Begin with the Father.
Forgiveness becomes possible when your attention shifts from the person who wounded you to the Father who holds you.
You may not know what to do with what happened.
Your Father does.
Reflect
What situation or person has been occupying more of your attention than God?
How might remembering God as your Father change the way you approach that situation?
Prayer
Father, before I talk about what happened to me, I want to remember who You are. You see me, You know me, and You know everything I have carried. Help me begin with You today. May Your name be honored in the way I respond to the people who have hurt me. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Today’s Practice
Before bringing God your requests today, simply spend a few moments saying:
“Father, I belong to You.”
Day 2 — His Agenda Before Mine
Scripture
Matthew 6:10 (NLT)
“May your Kingdom come soon. May your will be done on earth, as it is in heaven.”
Devotional Thought
Most of us naturally pray our agenda.
“Lord, fix this.”
“Lord, change them.”
“Lord, make this situation work out the way I want.”
But Jesus teaches us something different:
Your Kingdom. Your will.
Prayer is not primarily about getting God to agree with us. Prayer reshapes us until we begin agreeing with God.
That becomes especially difficult when somebody has hurt us.
Our agenda may be revenge.
Our agenda may be making sure they suffer.
Our agenda may be proving that we were right.
Our agenda may simply be holding onto the offense because releasing it feels like they are getting away with something.
But Jesus teaches us to pray:
“Father, what do You want?”
God's will may not change what happened, but it can change what happens inside of you because of what happened.
Forgiveness begins when we surrender our agenda to His.
Reflect
When you think about the person who hurt you, what outcome do you secretly want?
Can you sincerely pray, “Father, Your will be done,” concerning that situation?
Prayer
Father, I surrender my agenda to You. There are things I want fixed, people I want changed, and situations I want resolved. But more than getting my way, I want Your will. Rule over my thoughts, my emotions, and my responses. Let Your Kingdom come in me. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Today’s Practice
When the offense comes back to your mind today, interrupt the replay with this prayer:
“Your Kingdom. Your will. Not mine.”
Day 3 — Trust God With Today
Scripture
Matthew 6:11 (NLT)
“Give us today the food we need.”
Devotional Thought
Jesus teaches us to ask for today's bread.
Not next month's bread.
Not next year's bread.
Today.
That means Jesus is teaching us daily dependence.
Forgiveness often feels overwhelming because we imagine everything it might require tomorrow.
“What if they do it again?”
“What if I see them?”
“What if they never apologize?”
“What if they never change?”
Jesus brings us back to today.
You may not have grace for every situation you could possibly face in the future.
But God can give you grace for today.
You don't have to solve the next ten years today.
You don't have to manufacture feelings you don't have.
You don't even have to pretend that you're completely healed.
You simply need enough grace to obey God today.
Daily bread means daily grace.
And sometimes the prayer is simply:
“Father, give me what I need to release this again today.”
Reflect
Are you allowing worries about tomorrow to keep you from obeying God today?
What do you need from your Father today—strength, peace, wisdom, courage, restraint?
Prayer
Father, give me what I need for today. I don't know what tomorrow will bring, and I don't have the strength to carry every possible outcome. Give me today's grace, today's wisdom, and today's strength. Help me trust You one day at a time. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Today’s Practice
Don't ask yourself, “Can I forgive this forever?”
Ask:
“Can I place this person in God's hands today?”
Do that today. Tomorrow, ask for tomorrow's grace.
Day 4 — Remember Your Own Debt
Scripture
Matthew 6:12 (NLT)
“And forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us.”
Devotional Thought
Jesus uses the language of debt.
Something is owed.
Something has been taken.
Something cannot simply be undone.
That is why forgiveness can be so difficult.
When somebody hurts us, something inside says:
“You owe me.”
You owe me an apology.
You owe me the years I lost.
You owe me the trust you destroyed.
You owe me the childhood I didn't have.
You owe me the reputation you damaged.
And sometimes the painful truth is that the person who owes you could never fully repay what was taken.
But Jesus reminds us of another ledger.
Ours.
We also came before God with a debt we could never repay.
And through Christ, God showed us mercy.
Forgiveness is not saying their debt wasn't real.
Forgiveness is deciding that you will no longer be the collector.
You hand the account to God.
Reflect
Finish this sentence privately:
“What they owe me is…”
Now consider: What has God forgiven you for that you could never have repaid?
Prayer
Father, thank You for forgiving me. I could never repay the debt my sin created, yet You showed me mercy through Jesus Christ. Give me grace to extend to others the mercy I have received from You. I release my right to personally collect what they owe me. I place the debt into Your hands. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Today’s Practice
Write the name or initials of someone you need to forgive.
Underneath it, write:
“I am no longer the collector. God, I give this debt to You.”
Day 5 — Forgive First
Scripture
Matthew 6:14–15 (NLT)
“If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
Devotional Thought
Jesus finishes teaching the prayer and then returns to one subject:
forgiveness.
Of everything He could have repeated, this is what He circles back to.
That tells us how seriously Jesus takes unforgiveness.
We can sing.
Serve.
Give.
Attend church.
Know Scripture.
And still carry a list of people we have decided will never be released.
Jesus refuses to allow us to receive grace from God while treating grace as something other people don't deserve.
And no—this does not mean you must pretend nothing happened.
Forgiveness is not denial.
Forgiveness is not immediate trust.
Forgiveness is not removing necessary boundaries.
Forgiveness is not putting yourself back into an abusive or unsafe situation.
But forgiveness does mean:
I will not spend the rest of my life demanding payment for this offense.
There may be a name you have carried for years.
Today, Jesus invites you to put it down.
Reflect
Is there anyone you have decided does not deserve your forgiveness?
What has carrying that offense been costing you?
Prayer
Father, You know the name. You know what happened. You know how deeply it hurt. I will not pretend it was right, and I will not minimize the damage. But today I choose to release this person into Your hands. Give me grace to forgive as I have been forgiven. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Today’s Practice
Forgive First.
Before praying about everything else you need today, bring that name before God.
Say:
“Father, I release __________ to You.”
You may have to pray it again tomorrow.
That's okay.
Keep releasing the debt.
Day 6 — The Cross Canceled My Debt
Scripture
Colossians 2:13–14 (NLT)
“Then God made you alive with Christ, for he forgave all our sins. He canceled the record of the charges against us and took it away by nailing it to the cross.”
Devotional Thought
Forgiveness does not begin with what somebody did to you.
It ultimately begins with what Jesus did for you.
There was a record against us.
There was a debt.
There were charges we could not erase and a bill we could never pay.
Then came the cross.
Jesus took the record and canceled it.
He did not ignore our sin.
He paid for it.
That's the gospel.
And that is where the power to forgive comes from.
You are not being asked to manufacture enough emotional strength to release somebody.
You are being invited to stand at the foot of the cross and remember:
“I have already been released.”
People who know how much grace they have received become people capable of giving grace.
The cross doesn't make what they did insignificant.
The cross makes what Christ has done greater.
So take the name you've been carrying.
Take the memory.
Take the anger.
Take the unpaid debt.
And bring it to the cross.
You don't have to carry it anymore.
Reflect
How has remembering Christ's forgiveness changed the way you view the person who hurt you?
What would freedom from this offense look like in your life?
Prayer
Jesus, thank You for the cross. Thank You for canceling the record that stood against me. Thank You for forgiving a debt I could never repay. Because You have forgiven me, teach me to forgive others. I give You the names, memories, wounds, anger, and debts I have carried. Help me walk forward in freedom. In Jesus’ name, amen.
This Week’s Final Practice
Go back to the name you wrote earlier this week.
Pray over it one final time:
“Father, I cannot change what happened. I cannot make them repay what was lost. But because You have forgiven me, I choose to forgive. I release the debt, I release the person, and I place both into Your hands.”
Then destroy the paper as a physical reminder:
The debt no longer belongs in your hands.
Carry This With You
Pray your Father’s agenda, not yours.
And when the old name comes back…
When the memory resurfaces…
When you feel yourself keeping score again…
Return to the Father.
Remember the cross.
Release the debt.
And forgive first.